


Music, Meaning and Mourning

by Wheely_Jessi



Category: Call the Midwife
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Fluff, F/F, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Grief/Mourning, Modern Era, Music
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-30
Updated: 2020-08-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 00:14:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 499
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26197696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wheely_Jessi/pseuds/Wheely_Jessi
Summary: Modern AU.Patsy's sister's birthday is coming up, so she has a song stuck in her head. And it won't leave. But Delia is there, with help and cwtches.
Relationships: Delia Busby & Patsy Mount, Delia Busby/Patsy Mount
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	Music, Meaning and Mourning

‘Pats, love?’

Patsy hardly heard Delia’s gentle enquiry. No – she heard it, but did not _process_ it. Despite not having headphones in, she was so immersed in listening to music, she had no head _space_ for other sounds. Consequently, when her wife crouched down beside her, she sent the portable radio (that she had been cradling on her lap for most of the morning) flying.

Thankfully the shorter woman’s reflexes seemed quick that day, since she caught it without causing damage either to them or the radio. ‘ _Sori, cariad_ ,’ she said quietly, as she sat down properly, and Patsy found herself being beckoned closer for a _cwtch_.

Pushing away her immediate instinct to get prickly, she went, if not exactly _joyfully_ , then willingly. ‘’S’okay,’ she answered, leaning in as comfortably as she could without disturbing the aerial of the radio that was now balanced on her wife’s lap. Noticing it had not been turned off, she blinked back a tear of gratitude. ‘Is everything all right, Welshie?’

She felt Delia’s giggle almost before she heard it. The vibrations made the spot where their shoulders connected tingle. ‘I came to ask _you_ a similar question.’

‘Really?’ She tried to keep her tone nonchalant.

‘Mhmm,’ Delia murmured, clearly proceeding carefully, although she discovered she did not – could not? – mind too much. Because, when the tentative conversation continued, it was accompanied by soothing strokes on her arm. ‘You’ve been flicking between Radio 3 and Classic FM –’

Giggling now herself, she cut off the comment, saying wryly, ‘I should develop some less conspicuous coping mechanisms.’ Then she sighed. ‘I needed to get it out of my head. Or _try_ , anyway.’

She heard a crackle of static. Breaking their contact briefly to shift her position, she saw Delia moving the radio to a slightly safer distance. She could only laugh as a pair of arms snaked around her waist, relieved she was not expected to elaborate on what “it” referred to. ‘I take it you’ve not been very successful,’ came a whisper over her shoulder once they had settled again.

At first she only managed, ‘Nope.’ But, bolstered by the presence of her safest person, she went on. ‘It’s not fair. Her birthday isn’t ’til the end of next month. I can’t put up with it that long. Two days has been torture enough.’

Her voice was more brittle than intended, but Delia nuzzled her neck. ‘As avoiding it isn’t working, I’m here if you want to try the opposite.’

Ordinarily the suggestion would irritate her. Hearing it _outside_ her head hurt most of all. But different tactics were needed, so she hummed. ‘Perhaps a singalong’s appropriate. Especially for her thirtieth.’

‘Not just singing, _annwyl_ ,’ Delia quipped. ‘ _Dancing_.’

Rolling her eyes, she let herself be pulled upright.

Grace would have been _all_ _over_ this. She _was_ , actually. That was the point.

And, Patsy acknowledged, as they left the radio to find the old CD, that could feel _happy_ as well as hard.

Like birthdays.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully it's okay that I chose not to reference a particular song. I wanted to make the point that everyone's associations will be different, but that music generally is a powerful connection to memories.
> 
> Also, hello. For life reasons, I'm still struggling to write much (sorry!). So when this one shot fell out of me, I just went with it. Yet another example of me using fictional characters to process stuff. My friend Gemma's thirtieth birthday would be at the end of September, and this was an attempt to make sense of how the ten-year-old bit of my mind's been responding to that looming date. Entirely unplanned, but actually weirdly fitting for what is my thirtieth fic on AO3 (!). Thanks for reading (and thanks to Jojo_Is_A_Hedgehog as both a beta and friend) <3


End file.
